I woke up today thinking about all the evil that have befallen our lovely state Imo i remembered a lecture that was giving at the year 2009

BRANDING AND RE-BRANDING THE IRREBRANDABLE NIGERIA

                                                               By

                                                      S. N. Asoegwu

                                Federal University of Technology, Owerri.

The word branding has several meanings in the dictionary ranging from the name of a product e.g. the brand of beer you take, to a recognizable type of something e.g. an unusual type of humor. It may also be a mark made on an animal or a criminal or a slave. For our discussion, let us define brand as a mark or sign of disgrace, infamy or notoriety e.g. he bore the brand of disloyalty. To brand Nigeria means to classify her as bad, illegal, or undesirable. The brand names of Nigeria are corruption, nepotism, greed, never-expect-power-always, mediocrity, chauvinism, un-patriotism, un-democratic, lawlessness, election fraudster, 419ner and others.

However, the word  ‘re-’ affixed before a word means: back; again; anew. If it is used with brand, it should mean back to brand, brand anew or brand again. But the word brand meaning stigma, scar, sear, welt or mark, may not have to have the ‘re-‘ prefix before it because it has no antonyms.

Nigeria today is materialistic and consumerist with the unquenchable thirst for wealth (get-rich-quick syndrome). The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers. We have wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families. We have more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems. We have more medicines, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been too self-centered that we have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We have tried to conquer our outer space (outside of us) but not our inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've tried to clean up the air, but have polluted the soul. 

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We use more computers to hold more information, photocopiers to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. We have more knowledge but less wisdom, more economic security but less freedom. The more pleasure we enjoy the less contented or satisfied we are with life.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships (could this be the reason for so many assassinations). These are the days of many marriages but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from to cheer, to quiet, to kill.

For this write-up, it was discovered that the word “re-branding” is not in the English dictionary. This may be because the word brand connotes indelibility (impossible to remove or alter). However, in the context of the entity called Nigeria, the word re-brand has come into being, and may be found only in the Nigerian dictionary, where its meaning has not been explicitly defined. That may be why its proponents have not been able to explain to Nigerians and non-Nigerians alike, what re-branding means; what is the brand to be re-branded; why it should be re-branded; how it should be re-branded and to what it is to be re-branded. Nigeria has already spent over N700million of the tax payers’ money on the re-branding campaign. Whao! Where are we heading to?

By the time these proponents of the Nigerian word “re-branding” tinkers (an act of fiddling with something in an attempt to repair it) with the above questions, permit me to be Nigeria and pray you to re-brand me.

 I am Nigeria with 71.2million hectares of cultivable land, only 34.2million hectares (about 48% of the cultivable area) are actually being cultivated and less than 1% of the arable land is irrigated area with my billions of cubic liters of water, but I cannot feed myself. So I spend over $1 billion to import rice and another $2 billion to import milk. I produce rice at Abakaliki, Omor, Adani, Akaeze and some parts of North Central Nigeria, but don’t eat it. I have 15 million cattle and buffaloes, 51million sheep and goat, but no milk. Wheat, rice and milk are my major imports. I have so much water bodies but no fish from them. I am hungry, please re-brand me.

 I drive the latest cars in the world but have no roads. I lose family and friends everyday on roads for which funds have been voted, released and looted. I lose millions of my young, my old, and my most brainy and productive people to the potholes, craters and crevasses they travel on every day. I am in permanent mourning, please re-brand me.

 My school has no teacher and my classroom has no roof, no chairs and no desks. I take lecture notes through the window because of the crowd and live with 15 others in a single room. We share sleeping time and space. All my professors have gone abroad, and the rest are awaiting visas. I am a university graduate, but I am illiterate. I want a future, please re-brand me.

My classrooms and lecture theatres are closed for months and the politicians are not bothered because their children are not in public schools. The many people whose livelihood depend on the universities (mama-put and buka sellers, stationeries sellers, business centers, bus drivers and their dependants, recharge card sellers, hair dressers and barbers, shoe makers and porters, etc) are being starved to death by a heartless government, please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where a professor’s monthly basic salary (before tax) is N267,428.33, while that of an LGA supervisory counselor is N809,300.00 and that of a senator of my Federal Republic is N2,025,400.00 and yet the professor pays the highest tax. The breakfast of National Assembly members cost N114,000.00 per sitting. Does this not explain why professors do everything to leave the classrooms for greener pastures and plump jobs including being Permanent Secretaries and Directors of Parastatals, Commissioners and Ministers, House of Assembly members, Vice President and President in Nigeria? Please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where an agreement between the Federal government and the Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) will not be signed because State universities are part of the agreement, yet JAMB and NUC regulate minimum standards for admissions, curricula and infrastructure for accreditation. Maybe there should be State JAMB and SUCs; and State university graduates should work only in State establishments. Also, it is only here that laws are made for particular groups. With ASUU strikes the law “no work no pay” is implemented only to demean the status of the academic staff and others in the university system, please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where elected politicians and political office holders who constitute about 0.014% (i.e. 14 politicians out of every 1000 persons) consume about 33% of the national annual budget, each carting away an average of N62m annually. Also, members of the national assembly take constituency allowances of between N250m – N500m, for which they are not accountable to either their constituencies or the government, please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where some of those who are and who has been in political power or in the corridors of government at all levels have shared my oil blocks, engaged foreign companies to drain and siphon my crude oil, sapping me clean, clear and dry. Tell me what all this is about, please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where the Christians (Catholics, Anglicans, Methodists, Presbyterians, Pentecostals, etc) and Muslim members make up over 89% of my population; where almost all of my political office holders have been trained and have imbibed the doctrines of these religions; where all my timbers and calibers in politics, educational institutions, manufacturers and marketers; students and their cohorts, journalists and the security agents,, civil servants and NGOs may have passed through the crucibles and rudiments of these religions and have refused to practice what was and has been preached to them; where religious fanaticism and religious disturbances have continued to claim lives and destroy properties.  What could I do; what should I do; what must I do? Please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where malaria, typhoid and many other preventable diseases send me to hospitals which have no doctors, no medicines, no water and no electricity. So my wife gives birth with candle light and surgery is performed by quacks. All the nurses have gone abroad and the rest are waiting to go also. I have the highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the world and future generations are dying before me. I am hopeless, hapless and helpless, please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where the scientific breakthroughs (military and medical) of the Biafra-Nigeria civil war era were politically ‘killed’ leaving me without any inventions since over half a century of nationhood; my people go to China, Taiwan, Korea, India and other Asian countries to manufacture substandard products for my people; my refineries are not functional and we do not have the political will to cause Nigerian experts to repair or refurbish them, no wonder my people have turned militants, kidnappers and resource control agitators, please re-brand me.

 I wanted change so I stood all day long to cast my vote. But even before I could vote, the results had been announced. When I dared to speak out, silence was enthroned by bullets. My rulers are my oppressors, and my policemen and soldiers are my terrors. I am ruled by men in mufti, but I am not a democracy. My political system selects my leaders for me and rig them into office, so they are not accountable to me but to their party and their pockets, amassing by looting my wealth and resources for who? I do not know. I have no verve, no vote, and no voice, please re-brand me.

 I have 50 million youths with no jobs, no present and no future. So my sons in the North have become street urchins and their brothers in the South have become militants and kidnappers. My nephews die of thirst in the Sahara and their cousins drown in the waters of the Niger Delta. My daughters walk the streets of Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt, while their sisters parade the streets of Rome, New York, Paris and Amsterdam. I am inconsolable, please re-brand me.

 My people cannot sleep at night and cannot relax by day. My children sleep through staccato of AK 47s; see through the mist of tear gas. The spate of day light bank robberies in my major cities has left the police hapless. The type and caliber of guns used in these operations have again left our security operatives powerless. The porosity of our borders, airports and seaports is an indictment on the police, customs and immigration officials. What have I done wrong? Please re-brand me.

The leaders have looted everything on the ground and below. They walk the land with haughty strides and fly the skies with private jets. They have stolen the future of generations yet unborn and have money they cannot spend in several lifetimes, but their brothers die of hunger and disease. I want justice, please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where some of the governors of my democracy states collect allocations, generate revenue internally through inflated taxes and get special grants due to their natural ecological advantages, but share them among themselves on their executive council tables. What is all these and why are they happening to me. Please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where money speaks (not talks); where many of my people speak from the quantum of the money they have accumulated (legally or illegally); where nobody asks the innocent question of how my people get (not make) the money they squander flamboyantly (which all the time are not taxed). How can my people be sincere, honest, truthful and faithful with my God-given natural resources spreading from the North to the South? Please re-brand me.

I am Nigeria where the spate of kidnappings for huge ransoms is in the increase; where the perpetrators target their targets with impunity for just or no just cause. Please educate me while re-branding me. 

 I can produce anything, but import everything. So my toothpick is made in China; my toothpaste is made in South Africa; my salt is made in Ghana; my butter is made in Ireland; my milk is made in Holland; my shoe is made in Italy; my vegetable oil is made in Malaysia; my biscuit is made in Indonesia; my chocolate is made in Turkey and my table water made in France. My taste is far-flung and foreign, please re-brand me.

 My people are cancerous from the greed of their friends who bleach palm oil with chemicals; adulterate my beers, wines, stouts, whiskeys, brandies etc for my peoples’ consumption. My children died because they drank ‘My Pikin’ with NAFDAC numbers; my poor die because kerosene explodes in their faces; my land is dead because all the trees have been cut down; flood kills my people yearly because the drainages are clogged; my fishes are dead because the oil companies dump waste in my rivers; my communities are vanishing into the huge yawns of gully erosion, and nothing is being done. My livelihood is in jeopardy, and I am in the uttermost depths of despondence, please re-brand me.

 I have genuine leather but choose to eat it as kpomo. So I spend a billion dollars to import fake leather. I have four refineries, but prefer to import fuel, so I waste more billions to import petrol and now they want to remove the subsidy so that my people may pay more to travel. My railways of the 50s and 60s have been killed by the road transport magnets of my country. I am lame, please re-brand me.

 I have no security in my country, but would rather send troops to keep the peace in another man’s land. I have many dams, but cannot get water to drink, so I buy ‘pure’ water that roils my innards. I have a million children waiting to enter universities, but my ivory dungeons can only take a tenth. My advisors have caged and blindfolded me not to see the need to expand my educational facilities to give my children education. I know that education is the power to make me achieve Vision 20-2020. But the Indian would ask: what to do? Please re-brand me.

I have no power, but choose to flare gas, so my people have learnt to see in the dark and stare at the glare of naked flares. My 7-point agenda has power as the most important catalyst for achieving its goals after education. I am not sure which of them has left the drawing table. I have no direction, please re-brand me. 

Democracy is supposed to be my political status where my representatives are my mouthpiece. Have they ever conferred with my people to be able to bring their views up to me? Do I really know the yearnings of my people? Is the fault me or mine? Please, here, I need serious re-branding.

I am Nigeria where my people do not know the difference between road block and road patrol. They do not even know which the law forbids. So why should all the ‘rogers’, ‘drops’, ‘tithes’ or whatever name it is called not take place on our roads? I do not know who is the mugu or the guy. Please re-brand me.

My people pray to God every morning and every night, others pray five times a day, but commit every crime known to man because re-branded identities will never alter the tunes of inbred rhythms. Just as the drums of heritage heralds the frenzied jingles, remember - the Nigerian soul can only be Nigerian - fighting free from the cold embrace of a government that has no spring, no sense, and no shame. So my people watch my possessed, frenzied dance, drenched in silent tears as their freedom is locked up in democracy’s empty cellars. I need guidance, please re-brand me.

I had Sarduana, Azikiwe, Awolowo and many other nationalists; I had Okpara, Ibiam, Fela, Fawehinmi, Aminu Kano and co; I have Odegbami, Chukwu, Kanu, Okocha and others. I have Ajunwa, Sunday Peters and co. I have heroes in all the national teams that make me proud. With these teams achieving any world and continental feats, I roll out the drums and dole out my Naira. I have all it takes and what it takes to greatness. I am a potential yet to be tapped.  If you re-brand me, will I get the right caliber of people to bring out the potentials in me and make me great in 20-2020? If so, re-brand me quickly.

Educated citizenry is the bedrock of any development (political, scientific, technological, cultural, religious, etc.). Yet my universities have been embroiled in a spate of controversies with my government, remaining closed for many months in each occasion. A lot of damage has been done to the credibility of many of my leading universities amongst their peers in the world. None of my tertiary institutions ranks amongst the first 500 in the world. School calendars have been disrupted, some sessions have been lost including irredeemable precious time, and with most of the student roaming the streets engaged in various and varied antisocial behaviors. Any nation toying with the education and empowerment of her youth is destroying the fabric of her existence. My youth need education and intellectual empowerment. Please re-brand me.   

I am Nigeria where my citizens, with their get-rich-quick mentality, not long ago, borrowed huge sums of money from the bank and risked it in intangible stocks that eventually crashed in the hope of becoming millionaires and billionaires overnight. This they did to the deliberate neglect of more enduring and beneficial, but slower-yielding manufacturing and agriculture that has been stagflated and choked for funds. This quest for quick turnover and profiteering is ruining my productivity by institutionalizing unemployment, underemployment and misemployment. Many of my engineering and science and agriculture graduates are now bank workers, because there are no deserving places for them to work. Please industrialize me while re-branding me.  

I am Salisu Suleiman, Nwabueze Asoegwu, Kayode Olakankpo, and others who are true Nigerians. But then, why can I not simply be me, without being re-branded? Or does my complexion cloud the color of my character? Does my location limit the lengths of my liberty? Does the spirit of my conviction shackle my soul? Does my mien maim the mine of my mind? And is this life worth re-branding? I am not yet born, please re-brand me.

(This is a Lecture delivered at the Monthly Meeting of the College of Immaculate Conception (CIC Enugu) Old Boys Association (CICOBA) held at the Chairman’s Residence on 20th September, 2009).